For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
