this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize