someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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