If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
