i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
