oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
