Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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