So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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