And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
