My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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