i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
