Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
