Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
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I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
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I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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