Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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