I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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