so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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