Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
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She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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