nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
