god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
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Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
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He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My feet surprised me
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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