wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
