Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
