Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
