Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
