Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Send help, water and tortillas.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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