Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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