He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
