Porn is love you can see.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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