OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
and she was petting her beer can
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
