Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
