I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
