Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
