Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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