does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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