so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
