There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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