he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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