there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
