i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
