We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
