Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
