I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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