the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
