Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
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He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
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Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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