He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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