Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
