What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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