dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize