he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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