So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
