wat bout pragnant strippers??
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
