summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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