can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
