my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
