my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
