Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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