can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
